I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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