you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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