just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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