why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
