I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
