i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
