you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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