So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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