There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
