I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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