The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
