How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
