And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
bring money and cleavage
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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