just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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