I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
