separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize