I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
