I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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