My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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