So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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