so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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