If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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