When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
