I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
All I want is dick and wine.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
