Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
