i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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