I think I died a long time ago.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
