The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
You pole danced in your parka.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
false alarm, still single
Randomize
