her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
