Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
