Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
