i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
