I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
