The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
