Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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