my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
