okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
