I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
