I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
