Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
