Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
