Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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