oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize