There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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