he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
