I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
