Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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