Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
