She is in my trunk
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
