Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
they're like a gay fantastic four
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
