Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
