I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
two words: eviction party
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
