Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
