is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
