just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
they're like a gay fantastic four
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
