I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
