I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
