She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
