it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize