It's like a parade of train wrecks.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
