thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
