So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
