how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
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